Truth be told: I just don't know what I want

I started my IT/Digital Marketing business back in July, 2019 while I was working in the Infrastructure Analyst position with my current company. I currently have a good contract to complete the web design for a client with monthly residual earnings of around $1000/month. That extra earning should keep me motivated but it’s really not helping me get over my slack.

Since around the holidays in December, I have been feeling and experiencing a lot of slack. It’s almost as if I’m sick but not to the point where I have a cough, fever or anything. I just feel mentally, physically and emotionally drained. Since that time I have not been able to put much work into my client’s project.

Now I am seeking an alternate direction with that side hustle. I’m planning to shut it down completely, but that may not be the best option. I feel as if I need to re-evaluate my position and my reason for doing what I’m doing. Doing it simply for money is not a good motivator – otherwise, a job in the sex industry would be attractive with the high earning potentials.

I think I need a vacation more than anything. I need to get away so I can start my day all over again.

Have you experienced a similar slack in life?

I don’t know. Sounds like your mental health is in bad shape based off your recent posts. What’s stopping you from taking a vacation? It looks like you’re chasing that money and forgetting about the all important, the essential - mental health. Misery would take over our lives.

I went to Cambodia seeing people happy with very little money. I thought to myself, damn wtf is wrong with me. Why do I always think about money? So, ya, guilty here. Maybe that’s why I feel miserable sometimes.

Planning a vacation after reading your post right now lol

TouCool, I don’t even know where to start for a vacation. Nobody will go on a vacation with me. And I’m not the type to travel alone. Many countries are off limits because of my criminal record. So I either have to vacation somewhere in Canada or maybe Cambodia. I’m not ready for either. Keeping up with my grind everyday. I felt better after my client paid me $900 last week. I’m motivated to finish his project.